(no subject)

Anxious and on edge, stressing, ashamed. I feel like I'm falling apart. Some days I think I should just find a shrink and spill it all. I don't know if it's because of the others.. I don't know what will happen when I just let go. This scares me so much sometimes. I'm so alone. I just feel things pressing down on me, like building up to some kind of catharsis, but I just have to smile and pretend to be okay and try to get things done and try to live, but I fail at life. Haven't I proven that again and again? The little voice in the back of my head keeps saying "I want to go home." but I don't know where home is. I think I'm insane. I think all of this is just the delusional ramblings of a very sick young... person. I don't even deserve to be called a man. or a woman, for that matter. i hate myself so much. i don't know how to fix it.