cindershouse: (Ariel - Bed)
Cleaning. Lots of cleaning. Things seem to be looking up. Xan noticed that you can tell I'm around because my nose is constantly stuck in a book. I'm almost shy to admit what it is I'm reading, though. The truth is, I wanted to revisit the old Mercedes Lackey books from the Velgarth universe. Finished Arrows of the Queen, in the middle of Arrow's Flight. I identified with Talia a lot because of the empathy thing, though mine (the body's? Xan seems to have mostly locked it down, but Al still gets it, and so does Zak... though they were both empaths of sorts in their previous lives. Not sure about John or Kitsune.) isn't nearly as spectacular. Neither was Zak's, for that matter, though his was very clear and intense at short ranges. But feeling people from miles away? It'd drive someone insane, shields or not.

Threw out the old letters from the obsessive boyfriend. Xan had kept them. I didn't, and I was the one he'd been with. He was a codependent asshole who pretty much raped us, and tried to fit us into his fantasy world in a shape that really didn't fit... But I suppose he did do his part in making me what I am. And making Kai, probably. And contributing to the hurts that drove me underground for five years. But he's married, now, and happy. I'm not entirely sure he's changed much, but as long as she's cool with him, that's all the better, right? Here's to letting go of hard feelings, and letting go of the past.

I did pull out our collection of stuffed dinosaurs from when we were a tiny kid, though. Just seemed like the right thing to do.

Xan's been working on German again. Will have to see how learning another language works when we're being as switchy as we are lately. I used to study Japanese, but that never really went beyond a light conversational level, and we didn't keep up with it.

cindershouse: (Ariel - Zorak)
So I guess I should do an update and introduce myself. Hi. I'm Ariel. Or Ace. Or whatever you want to call me. I guess I'm not much more particular about names than Xan is. I'm the girl he was too afraid to wake up because he thought I'd take over and delete him. I can't say for sure what's going to happen, but killing anyone isn't really on my list of things to do! ^_~

Um. I guess I don't really know what to write. I can remember things, mostly. I'm not really upset about anything. Not right now, at least. It's not like I'm so feminine that I'm freaking out about the whole trans thing. I sorta agreed to it, too, back then. Sorta. I don't really know. Anyway. I guess the really interesting thing will be figuring out how much my "brother" and I have in common and how much is different...

They're trying to make me feel as comfortable as possible, to the point of being kinda silly at times, and giving me my space. It's really sorta sweet. I guess I have my own little harem of queer bishounen (and John). What more could a girl want, right? XD Even if it would be sorta incestuous with Xan (or would it be masturbation? Speaking of which, that's something I should try, with the body how it is...), Al's gay, John's almost fatherly, and Zak... Okay, everybody just goes silent when it comes to Zak. Um? Good or bad thing? Kitsune's here, too, I think... Not really nearby, though. Proabably safer, just because I've had caffeine.

Well, nice to meet you. Hopefully I won't screw things up too bad by being 'awake' as it were. I think it'll take me a bit to get my bearings. And to figure everything out. It'll be so good to get to hug my parents again, and hug my kitty, and just do things. ^_^ Everything is okay again. That's what the consensus seems to be. Right now, everything is okay.


Side note. Digging through the icons we have, there's a lot of weird ones and some cool ones, but none are really *mine*. So I'm going to be Zorak for now. XD
cindershouse: Several masks and an eye peering out. (Default)
Current as of 06/17/2009.

The Band of Bastards (main fronts)

Xan - Shapeshifter/Intelligent construct. Androgynous male. Seems innately linked to the system controlling the brain's memories, habits, and knowledge. Believes himself to have been created in an identity restructuring sometime in the spring of 2004. Has very little identity of his own, and flows and adapts to fit what the situation requires. Something of a control freak, he's also the face that most of the world has dealt with in the past. People fall in love with him very easily, though he's rather asexual, himself.

Zakai - Human. Male. Bishounen. Empathic. Remembers living and dying in a previous life where he both experienced and did Very Unpleasant Things. Currently one of the most stable and laid-back members of the House. Extrovert. Hits on anything that moves. Sense of humor so dark that black holes get lost in it.

John - Human. Male. Showed up with very fragmented memories of his past, later found an identity that seemed to fit, uncomfortable as it was for all of us. Officer in charge of Drinking, Smoking, and Foul Language. Has a hard time choosing a favorite sin--he's a fan of them all. Charismatic conman with deep issues that he's still trying to work through. Formerly referred to as "Luc" or "Grey".

Others

Ariel - Human? Female. Geek girl. Bookworm of epic proportions. Former front, still trying to figure out her current place in things. Slept for quite a few years and was actually sorta kept in stasis by Xan because he was afraid she'd freak out and destroy him. It... didn't happen. She's calm and optimistic, in stark contrast to Xan's pessimism and depression, but is often able to get through to him and help him realize that things aren't as bleak as they seem.

Kitsune - Kitsune. Female. Hyperactive technophilic Japanese fox-spirit. Caffeine addict. Linux nerd. Can be a lot more mature than she usually acts, but chooses not to be, thus annoying the hell out of everyone.

Alharakyun'jyee ("Al") - Alien cat-elf-thing (Terahai, in their own language). Male. Natural mage and healer, has difficulty communicating effectively in English/accessing the brain's skills and habits. Very lonely and displaced. Capable and wise, but feels aimless stranded here.

Nameless - Unknown species. Genderless (or gender-fluid?). Intensely sexual. Suicidally masochistic, it wants to be violated, broken, and debased. Its influence has been here a long, long time, and we don't really know where it came from. Strangely, though it barely speaks, when allowed to paint, it created a weird composition in brilliant jewel-tones, and represented itself with the image of a burning orange feather, singed at the edges and crumbling into the flame. Zakai recognizes the feelings, but claims he never surrendered as much as Nameless does. Whether Nameless is an actual person or just a fragmentary set of feelings and reactions is hard to say at this time.

MIA

Taka - Human. Male. Samurai from late 18th century Japan. Almost never fronts, doesn't use modern technology.
Liz - Female unseelie sidhe.
Kai - Female anthropomorphic personification, seems tied to Ariel. Al's nemesis. Reminds us a bit of Zak...

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